anxiety 4 min read

A Powerful Exercise to Release Jealous Feelings

Jealousy is a normal human emotion. It can be triggered when we feel threatened, like when our partner goes on a work lunch with someone else or when we see them flirting with someone else. Jealousy can also come about because of feelings of insecurity, fear, and low self-esteem. However, being jealous is not good for your relationship and it can lead to problems if not dealt with in a healthy way. (For the purposes of this post we're going to be talking about romantic jealousy, rather than envy about someone else's life or situation.)

Woman looking at her phone with concerned look and hand over her heart

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How to Release Jealous Feelings

I wish there was an easy way to simply turn off jealous feelings, but there isn't. It's a primal and core emotion and it can be incredibly frustrating to find yourself grappling with it and unable to get rid of it. Most people feel some degree of shame about feeling jealous, so in addition to the initial painful feelings there is the self judgment of not being good enough, somehow bad and wrong. It's a potent mix that can leave even the most usually composed person feeling really out of control. 

But, if we were to break down the process of handling jealousy, it would begin with recognising what is happening first and foremost. Slowing down when you're hit with that difficult feeling and noticing what's happening before reacting with anger or blame. Spending just a few moments noticing where in your body you feel the sensation, bringing your attention back to yourself, rather than focusing fully on the other person.

Breathing deeply during these moments is important! Jealousy can make you feel that the air has been sucked out of you, so slow down and focus on your breathing to make sure it's actually happening!

Next, sink your awareness into the part of your body that is feeling riled up. Is it anxiety in your stomach, or tightness in your chest? You don't have to DO anything about those feelings, but just putting your attention there for a moment is important.

Then, If you want to take it a step further, you can recognise that the three main areas you're likely to be experiencing a strong sensation all have a self judgment associated with them. Sometimes acknowledging that self judgement, letting it be fully felt, allows the sensation to shift. Here are the three:

If you're feeling sensation in your heart area, you can notice that this usually means that whatever is happening has triggered your feelings of not being lovable. Don't try to convince yourself that you are lovable, if this is the case...simply spend a moment allowing the belief 'I am not lovable' to bubble up. You can even say to yourself 'this is where I believe I'm not lovable'. Or just 'I am not lovable'. Just for a moment. You don't want to wallow or over-do it. Just a moment to pull the splinter out and then it's done. (Your mind/ego will try to talk you out of this, ignore it and keep going for the tiny moment of actually FEELING the self judgment. You will be amazed at how it causes the sensation to be released and diminish). 

Solar Plexus
If you're feeling sensation here, it's likely because whatever is happening has triggered the self judgment you hold that you have no power. You are powerless. Repeat the process above, but say 'I have no power' instead and see if that feels true. If it does, if it feels like this is the thing that is behind all your reaction, then wonderful...all you need to do is allow the belief to be fully felt. It will release on its own once you do this. 

If you're feeling sensation here, then the self judgment you are probably grappling with is 'I am not enough'. Again, just let yourself fully feel it, immerse yourself in it for a moment without arguing with it. It's a self judgment you formed many years ago, probably when you were a baby or young child, and it's just waiting for a moment to be felt and seen so it can release. At least this layer of it. (There are likely many layers, but each moment like this in your life acts as a catalyst to release one of them, so use the opportunity. You get lighter, and it gets easier, the more you release!)

Ultimately, if you do this exercise when you first notice jealous feelings arise, you might find that they dissipate so well that you never have to even mention it to the person who has triggered the feeling in you. You can take full responsibility for your experience this way, and use it as an opportunity to know yourself better, and to clear some of the self judgement that you carry from childhood. 

[DISCLAIMER: sometimes jealous feelings are your intuition letting you know that there is something that is not quite right in your relationship, or between your partner and another person. If you do this exercise and the jealous feelings have dissipated, but you are still aware that something feels off, by all means talk to your partner. You'll be able to have a more productive conversation if you have first dealt with your triggers and are not feeling so emotionally charged.]

Hypnotherapy Can Assist

Hypnotherapy can help you to feel more confident and relaxed, both of which are key in overcoming jealousy. Feeling less frustrated with yourself and others will also help to reduce the negative feelings associated with jealousy.

In addition to helping with jealousy, hypnotherapy can also be used as an effective treatment option for other issues such as depression, anxiety and addiction recovery among others

Click here for our 'Be Free of Jealousy' Hypnotherapy Session!

Woman lying in bed looking unhappy as her partner stares at his phone

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Be Free of Jealousy Hypnotherapy